Rose of the Stars
by Mecharic
Summary: Ruby Rose was an explorer, a traveler of the stars. Now, with her ship wrecked on an uncharted planet deep within the dangerous Etherbane-infested Plaznith Rim, Ruby was unlikely to ever return to her place among the stars. At least the locals can talk though. [Sci-Fi parts of this are based on Stellaris game.] [Mostly a mistake to write.][No Regrets!][Being Glynda is Suffering.]
1. Make a Wish

**Hey all. I was stuck on what to write for one of my other stories, but still felt like writing. So uh. This happened instead.**

* * *

Resting beneath a shattered moon lay a planet filled with darkness. Four great fires of light stood against this tide, with countless smaller pinpricks scattered out around them. One of the larger pinpricks of light was located on an island called Patch, where the Xaio Long household was preparing for the night. Taiyang Xaio Long and his daughter and only child, Yang Xaio Long, had just finished the dishes on this warm late-summer eve and were sitting out back with their dog, Zwei. As the two humans and their dog rested looking at the sky, they saw a shooting star streak across it towards the distant lights of Vale.

"Make a wish sweetie!"

"Dad, I'm 17! I stopped making wishes years ago."

"Well if you won't, I will!"

The dog, however, was unnaturally quiet as it watched the streak vanish into the evening. Little did they know how much their world was about to change.

"What did you wish for anyway?"

"Not telling!"

* * *

It was a peaceful night for a robbery. Quiet, with people minding their own business and staying out of Romans way – just like he enjoyed most. Ahead of him was a humble little shop, 'From Dust till Dawn', catchy name. Better yet, it was still open, and had exactly what Roman needed. Heading into the deserted shop, Roman chuckled, threatened the shop owner into submission, and went about stealing his dust. There were no adorable little girls with terrifying weapons to stop the thief this night.

' _What a strange thought to have… Must've been something I ate._ '

The Dust collected, Roman headed out the store and made his merry way along the street, content in a job well done. The night was still peaceful. No chases, no battles, no duels between Dust-Mages, just a quiet robbery in a quiet town. Ah, bliss. And Juniors men weren't all that bad either, they did their job and little else – exactly what he'd paid for. Roman lit himself a new cigar and started taking in a nice long dra-

 **[BEWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAUAUUUUUUUUU!]**

Roman quite literally choked on his own cigar as the ungodly sound ripped across the city, shattering windows, vibrating stone and metal, and even knocking aircraft around in the sky. Following the sound was a long streak of smoke, and directly behind the sound source was a streak of fire stretching away.

"What, gack, what in the devil was that?!"

* * *

Ozpin, Glynda, Peter, and Bartholomew staggered back to their feet and surveyed the destruction. All the great windows of the office on top of Beacon Tower was broken by the soundwave that had followed the strange falling object. Peter shouted something, but nobody could hear it due to the ringing in their ears from the event. After a bit of time to recover, Glynda spoke up.

"So… assuming you can hear me now, any ideas on what that was?"

"Shooting star, obviously."

"Peter is correct, that was probably a meteor strike of some sort. Unexpected, but not unprecedented. I do believe the last one exploded in the air a few miles away from Windpath, actually."

"Way to suck the fun out of a shooting star, Barty."

Glynda could only shake her head at their antics, before turning towards their boss.

"You used your semblance to see what it was, right?"

"Yes…"

"So… what was it then?"

"I… I'm not actually sure, Peter…"

"Ozpin?"

"It looked like a space ship. A large crescent shaped ship with fire spitting out of the left side."

The room went silent, eyes growing wide as they all contemplated the situation. That took more time than it should have, but then, anyone would be in shock at the knowledge that an alien craft had just fallen from the sky.

"Ozpin, what do we do now?"

"I'll call Qrow, see if I can get him to locate the landing… eh, crash site."

* * *

Deep in the mountains edging the vast kingdom of Vale, creatures made of darkness and hate were startled from their daily lives destroying and ruining everything around them by the arrival of a streak of fire splitting the sky asunder. Blue-red in color, the fire did things no fire should be able to do – dodging mountains, curving up to crest above them, and then managing to crash into the ground with a great rumble. The creatures of darkness were stunned. Never had they seen fire behave in such a manner, but their eyes could not lie to them. The creatures started to gather, drawn towards the crash site…

* * *

 **Yep. Aliens on Remnant. This isn't a story I expect to take overly seriously, hence the insultingly short chapters - this one is around 775 words, rather than my normal story chapters of over 2k at the least. That said, this isn't necessarily humor (though it will have humor in it). Instead, this is just a bunch of shorter chapters with less detail. Maybe in the future I'll do a redux of this, but for now it's just a way for me to get my creative juices flowing and as such will probably be really, really poorly written. I don't even have a plot, to be honest. So uh. Have fun xD**

 **I'll be updating this whenever I spawn a new chapter from the dark recesses of my mind. Forgive me for making you suffer through it.**

 **~Mecharic**


	2. Crescent Rose

**Welcome to Ch2 of Rose of the Stars, my mostly joke/parody fiction that I write when I'm unable to find inspiration for any of my other stories.**

* * *

This was so much bullshit. Seriously. ' _Oh hey Qrow, we know you're busy with investigating the enemy and all, but Ozpin thinks he saw a UFO crash land in the eastern mountains, can you go investigate that? Pretty pwease with a cherry on top? BAH! I should've refused._ ' Such. Bullshit. ' _As if aliens would have the technology to traverse the stars but still be able to crash land on a planet anywhere, ever._ '

* * *

In thousands of parallel universes, thousands of characters sneezed at the same time.

* * *

Qrow blinked. He felt like he may have just caused something but couldn't for the life of him figure out what. Oh well, problems for later. Problems for now took the form of yet another group of Grimm in his path. ' _Bloody hell they're everywhere today! It's like the universe – and probably Glynda – just wants me to suffer._ ' Qrow continued to monologue about his endless misfortune that totally definitely wasn't the result of his semblance (it was) as he sought out the 'UFO' that had crashed in the region. He just had a few more hills to cross before he could find the blasted crater, tell Ozpin he's a moron, and then go back to drinking, espionage, and whatever it is that crows do when not drinking or spying – probably chasing tail or something.

As Qrow crested yet another Brothers-damned ridge – easier with wings, but still – he found himself staring at a long, charred swath of land before him. His eyes followed the damage as it got worse and worse, coming upon a large circle of trees that had been leveled outward from the impact site. The most unexpected part of it all? The spaceship.

' _Sonofabitch…_ '

Despite being partially buried within the earth and stone of the crash site, the ship was a sight to behold. Shaped like a crescent but colored silver-blue – almost the color of moonlight reflecting on still water really – the vessel had a sharp front edge that seemed to have dug into and split apart the ground, stone and all. On what could only be the rear of the ship was a large engine of some sort – Qrow couldn't tell how it worked, considering that the single engine piece seemed to curve along the entire inner of the crescent. Why this was strange was because, at full use, the engine or jet system would be pointing at itself as it discharged. Assuming it even did, which Qrow was by no means certain.

What Qrow was certain of was that the ship was not currently in operation. If it had running lights or markings, they were hidden. The engine was glowing an ominous, almost Grimm-eyes red in color, but otherwise seemed to be deactivated. The ship had not a scratch nor marking on it that could be seen from the outside, or at the least none that could be seen from the angle Qrow was looking. The entire vessel felt… inactive, powerless, as though the source of it's energy was missing and all that remained were the cooling ashes.

Landing, Qrow shifted from his bird form to his human form, hand on his weapon but not drawing it.

"Well… no human built this, I think. Better call Ozpin…"

* * *

A pair of silver eyes watched the small avian creature circled her ship once, then twice, then a third time before flying a short distance and landing. The eyes widened as the avian creature shapeshifted into a humanoid form, something that defied all logic. Then again, this was a world infested by Etherbane and yet somehow supporting life, perhaps the natural creatures here had been warped by the Ether? Or perhaps by the Lightstone? Well, time would tell, as would this creature once she took the risk and touched its mind. But for now, the watcher would watch, observe… was it taking pictures of her precious ship without her permission?! Observation could wait, nobody took pictures of her Crescent Rose when she was exposed like this!

The eyes lit up with power, her mind reached out towards her fellow humanoid, and the silver eyed being launched itself forward with all her psionic might directed into the mind of this humanoid being. She would learn its secrets, and then she would decide if it was allowed to live or if it was just another monster dwelling on this forsaken planet.

* * *

Qrow was filming the crashed spaceship when it happened. One moment, peaceful filming while on speaker with Ozpin, the next moment he was dropping the scroll the grab his head as agony flared through his mind and he felt himself being dissected. Collapsing to the ground, Qrow barely heard Ozpins panicked "What's happening?!" over the sound of his own memories rushing past him at a terrifying rate. He could feel the alien mind reading through his own, feel his being split apart into multiple lesser pieces, and then feel as each piece was studied intently. After a few minutes, the pain died down and his mind was put back together. Staggering to his feet, Qrow managed to get his weapon out in a belated attempt to defend himself, and leveled his glare at the being responsible for his situation.

That glare turned to shock and confusion as Qrow found himself looking at a young woman with eyes flaring out to the sides like a Maiden, but in a cold white-pink color.

"I… was not ready for today, was I?"

"Was anyone ever ready?"

* * *

 **And finish. Guess who's talking last? Eh, probably not hard to figure out. That's the chapter, hope you enjoyed it. I've decided to throw humor into the pile as well, because this is my relaxation fiction so I can do whatever I feel like. Expect some drama, some humor, lots of adventure, and once Ozpin enters more, a LOT of paperwork for Glynda.**

 **To the reviewers:**

 **KHARAKI TAKAN - Hope I'm able to deliver for ya :)**

 **The Doom Slayer 94 - Chapters may or may not be fleshed out more in the future, this isn't really a serious story for me. I already drop 3-4k chapters for my real fics, I don't want my 'relaxation fic' to also drop large chapters. Probably never more than 1k words for this one.**

 **Martyrfan - Not all the sci-fi elements, but many of them yes. Some minor alterations, and my own personal backstory to the galaxy/universe, but other than that...**

 **Cya next time!**

 **~ Mecharic**


	3. Surprisingly Human

"Uummmm… Hello?"

"Glug glug glug glug…"

"You're drinking my coffee."

"Glug glug glu- yeet!'

Glynda, having had quite enough of this incredibly mindnumbing situation, simply activates her semblance and take the coffee pot away from the alien humanoid. Said humanoid looks around, confused as to where this amazing drink has vanished off to, only to see Ozpin's mug steaming as well. With a slight popping noise, the steaming mug went from Ozpin's hand – almost to his mouth – and into the hands of the alien, who promptly downed the entire thing. And then kept chugging. Again. Glynda facepalmed as she remembered that Ozpin had actually bothered to waste a bit of his magic on an always-full cup of coffee. Honestly, she wasn't paid enough for… well, for any of this really.

"Give me back my mug damnit!"

"Numquam! Get tua!"

"I have no idea what you said, but if that mug isn't in my hand in the ne- urk!"

"Children, please, we have things to do."

"Glynda I'm literally an immortal wizard, not a-"

"Im 'non puer?"

"Shut. Up."

"Yes ma'am."

"Quod sic mulier."

"Now then, can we please, PLEASE, get to the part where you start using our language?"

"Bene bene… My name is Ruby Rose, skilled pilot and explorer for the Argentum Dynastia, or Sylver Dynasty. Why did you steal that amazing drink you call coffee?"

"…"

"-_-"

Glynda just couldn't. It was bad enough that 'first contact' (if it could be called that) consisted of a drunk shapeshifter getting into an argument with an alien telekinetic/telepath over the sanctity of filming a crashed space ship, now the first contact between two actual representatives of their respective species consisted of fighting over a cup of magically refilling coffee.

"You know what, I'll be briefing Ironwood on the situation so he doesn't come here with an actual penis shaped warship. You two can figure this out yourselves."

* * *

"So, now that the stick in the mud is gone, how about we discuss politics?"

"Eww, I left the core worlds solely to get away from politics. Can we discuss this coffee drink instead, and how I can get more of it?"

"As much as I'd love to spend the entire night discussing the gift that is coffee, I do have, ug, responsibilities. And this is one that I cannot push onto Glynda, mores the pity."

"What, you don't like talking to me?"

"No, I, uh. I'm going to ignore that and avoid digging myself a grave."

"Good call."

"For an alien you're surprisingly normal in your behavior – coffee obsession notwithstanding. Any reason for that?"

"As a psionic being I was able to tap into that bird brains head, allowing me to learn pretty much everything he knew about. So, immortal reincarnating parasitic wizard god huh?"

"Uh… I can explain?"

"Trust me, you are not the weirdest thing I've ever stumbled upon in my journeys. Brain slugs that enhance mental capacity, eldritch abominations from other planes of existence, space dragons, a giant self-sustained puzzle-fortress… Honestly, the galaxy is full of strange and impossible things. You're just one more of 'em." (1)

"Well. I'm terrified of the sky now. Thanks for that."

"You're right to be afraid – the galaxy is dangerous. Stars go nova and wipe out entire parsecs, vast interstellar empires span millions of stars, and ancient fallen nations wield technology to a scale even they don't fully comprehend. The universe wants you dead, and it's up to you to not comply." (2)

"Well… in the effort of noncompliance, what would it take for Remnant to gain access to your space tech?"

"You can't. Besides the fact that I am not authorized to uplift, annex, or enlighten your civilization there is also the fact that your civilization lacks the basic knowledge needed to understand how my ship works. Such a powerful Psionic Generator as the one I utilize can only be managed by a Psionic of my caliber or greater. None on your planet could even begin to activate my ship."

"What is a Psionic?"

"Telepath, Telekinetic, a wielder of the Shroud and it's power. There is great risk in delving into the Shroud, but skimming the very surface is far less dangerous. Like the difference between the deep ocean and the beach. However, your species cannot even swim yet, let alone brave the ocean. You're still just wetting your feet, with your primitive Psionic Shielding – you call it Aura."

"Ah. Well, that puts the entire politics issue into entirely new light. The Council of Vale – the government here – wants both your ship… and you. They claim you have no legal rights, being an alien, and as such that they can do with you what they please."

"They can try. They can also die."

"That's… unexpectedly ruthless."

"My people are a warrior race with a civilization spanning seventeen million stars. Not the largest – not by a long shot – but by no means a pushover. A government barely controlling a fraction of a single planet and lacking any space travel or serious Psionic capacity has no right to control me."

"I'll be sure to point that out to them, but Glynda's coming back and the General of Atlas – a military nation, insofar as that matters to you – will be on screen shortly. Want to make their lives a little more fun?"

"How?"

"Can your Psionic power levitate this…?"

* * *

"…So as you can see, General, Qrow was far from the best first impression, and I fear for all of Remnant with Ozpin discussing things with this… alien woman. I'm placing all my bets on you being able to talk some… sense… what?"

Before Glynda was a scene of true disaster – paperwork levitating freely and swarming her technical boss and he dueled with a knight in coffee-stained paperwork armor in his efforts to reach the round coffee table of Sira Ruby, Queen of the Coffeeians.

"Look into your heart, Sir Ozpin of the Special Brand, and you will find mercy even for Sir Black!"

"Never! Atleasian Black is evil, and deserves not the title of Knight of the Coffee Table! See the truth, Queen of the Coffeeians!"

* * *

 **Headcannon that 1/3rd of everything Ozpin does to his students - from throwing them off the cliff to ignoring the food fight - is solely to make running the academy more interesting.**

 **(1) - Brain Slugs are a possible Anomaly in Stellaris, the Eldritch Abomination is the Dimension Horror, Space Dragons are the Ether Drakes + "Here there be dragons" mod, Puzzle Fortress is the Enigmatic Fortress.**

 **(2) - They don't in Stellaris but they should; upgraded numbers based on actual galaxy sizes (galaxies in Stellaris are 1000 stars, 10k with mods, real ones are 400+ billion stars); Fallen Empires can be revealed to have forgotten how some of their own tech works.**

 **Did you enjoy this chapter? Good, because I enjoyed writing it.**

 **~ Mecharic**


	4. Computer Issues

**This is not a new chapter, sorry!**

 **My laptop - a new laptop no less - is having issues again. Namely, complete crash if I try to have it running while unplugged, gives me that lovely "All boot options tried" error (google it) and everything I've tried has failed to get it to work properly. How am I typing this if my laptop is being an ass? Easy - I have no idea why it started working again (I didn't do anything new in my efforts...) and I do NOT want to test my luck. As such, I'm gonna try and get it replaced (again -_-).**

 **What does this mean for you? Well, depending on how long it takes to get it replaced, there may not be any updates for upwards on 2 weeks, possibly even 3 if there's complications. It's *possible* but unlikely that I can get a completely new laptop tomorrow when I turn this one in, but if I do I'll remove this from all updating stories and replace it with a placeholder notice that the emergency has been dealt with and updates are back to normal.**

 **This has been posted on all stories.**


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